Post by Purple on Sept 20, 2011 17:57:37 GMT -5
This is a story I've had an idea for for a long time but only just now started it. I'd like some feedback on the prologue before I post any more, so comments please!!!
Maybe I’m a fool for saying it, but I was wrong. Somehow the streets don’t look so good in crimson, nor the sky in black. Somehow this isn’t what I wanted. No. It’s what I wanted. There’s no denying that now, not when so many heard those words, not when so many believed them. But somehow, this isn’t what I want. Not anymore. Funny how much you can still lose when you think you had nothing left. Funny how it can still hurt after you’ve gone numb.
Thanks for the feedback guys! I've edited the prologue slightly, and I'm wondering which is better, so please let me know.
Maybe I’m a fool for saying it, but I was wrong. Somehow the streets don’t look so good in crimson, nor the sky in black. Somehow this isn’t what I wanted. No. It’s what I wanted. There’s no denying that now, not when so many heard those words, not when so many believed them. But somehow, this isn’t what I want. Not anymore. Somehow revenge isn’t as sweet as I thought it would be. Funny how much you can lose when you think there’s nothing left.
Prologue
Maybe I’m a fool for saying it, but I was wrong. Somehow the streets don’t look so good in crimson, nor the sky in black. Somehow this isn’t what I wanted. No. It’s what I wanted. There’s no denying that now, not when so many heard those words, not when so many believed them. But somehow, this isn’t what I want. Not anymore. Funny how much you can still lose when you think you had nothing left. Funny how it can still hurt after you’ve gone numb.
Thanks for the feedback guys! I've edited the prologue slightly, and I'm wondering which is better, so please let me know.
Prologue 2
Maybe I’m a fool for saying it, but I was wrong. Somehow the streets don’t look so good in crimson, nor the sky in black. Somehow this isn’t what I wanted. No. It’s what I wanted. There’s no denying that now, not when so many heard those words, not when so many believed them. But somehow, this isn’t what I want. Not anymore. Somehow revenge isn’t as sweet as I thought it would be. Funny how much you can lose when you think there’s nothing left.